About 4 weeks ago, I decided I needed to start exercising again on a regular basis. Not just maybe 1-2 times a month but consistently. So, for the past 4 weeks, I have been getting up a little earlier and working out for about 30-40 minutes. I do it 4 times a week and am loving it. I feel really guilty if I do not get right up and get going. I also feel better during the day and have a little bit more energy for chasing the kiddos. I have only lost like 3-5 pounds but I am not dieting during the holidays. I haven't been depriving myself of the seasons goodies-dumb time to start a diet anyways. But I am proud of myself for being consistent and I am finding muscles again-yeah!!! Between my thyroid problems and switching birth controls, I have gained unwanted weight and it just feels good that I have lost a little weight just by working out.After the start of the new year, I hope to start focusing again on what I eat and improve it by eating more fruits and veggies. I decided I am not going to do have any sort of new years resolution this year. Every year, at the top of my list, is "to lose 15 pounds" and every year I fail and disappoint myself because I never make my goal. So, I have decided not to have any resolutions. Maybe that way I am using reverse psychology and I will make my goal without actually setting one-if that makes any sense. In the mornings, the kids are usually eating breakfast as I am doing my work out and they also want to work out with me. That makes me feel good also. That I am being an example for my kids in trying to keep my body healthy. They love to do the cool down with me. It is pretty cute listening to them asking if they are doing it right or hearing them say that they feel good. I want my kids to have healthy attitudes about their bodies and themselves and to be comfortable with who they are. I feel like I struggle with that on a daily basis-I wish I knew why but I know I lack self confidence. It is a hard thing for me. It probably doesn't help that we have moved so much and seems like I just get acquainted with someone and then we end up moving. I am constantly questioning things like,"did she just talk to me to be nice or does she genuinely care about my answer." I do not like getting too close to people because I feel I have been used and sort of taken advantage of in some of the friendships. Like it is always me doing the calling or setting up outings, etc. It got old and I just lost the desire to keep it up. I know friendships are a very important thing to have in our lives, but for right now I am pretty content to have my best friend (hubby) and my kids be the ones with whom I share my dreams and desires and everyday life. Nothing sounds so sweet as my oldest asking how my day was and genuinely wanting to know. It also helps having my mom only a phone call away-or my sisters. I love that we are a pretty close knit family.
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